however, that didn't work too.
don't ask me why. (",)
15.11.05
bwiset. anong nangyayari saken? tumigil na ako diba? diba!!! eh bakit ganito?
oo, masaya na ako. pero diyata't nasanay na yung batok ko na paglingon sa kung nasaan siya? oo, lumalayo na ako. pero mukhang inaasam-asam ko pa rin bang masalubong ang sulyap ng mga mata nya? oo, akala ko tutugma ang lahat sa mga pangyayari. tignan mo nga naman, pasimula ng bagong quarter, tama? magpapalitan ng groupings, seating arrangements, lahat na. pero ba't parang inilalapit pa ako ng tadhana sa kanya? oo, dinadaan ko na lamang sa katahimikan at di pag-imik. ngunit pag ika'y mag isa, ba't ako nananabik at tila nangangatog para makausap siya?
hayan, tapos ang ingay ko na naman! sabing manahimik na eh! ano ngayon kung naloloka na ako? eh otistik ka nga, sabi nya diba?
oo, wala na. pareho nyong alam yan. pero ba't ang hirap magpatuloy sa ganitong klase ng buhay?
tama bang hanap-hanapin ang kalungkutan? tama bang ipagdasal na sana ako'y masaktan? tama bang ihiling na ibalik ang nakaraan? tama bang ibunyag ang nakakalitong katotohanan? tama bang magpasakop sa isip ng kaguluhan? tama bang mabuhay bilang martir sa kamunduhan? tama bang isiping ang pagsuko'y di mapatunayan?
tama ba... tama ba ako???
tama na, gabriel. tumigil ka na diba? kaya tama na!
g_b got tired of senseless ranting by 22:13. |
it was just about now when i noticed that people write things about themselves in the profile section of their online diaries. then i looked at my former blog sites, and, it was like... whoa, am i really that weird?
so maybe it's time for a bit of change, a touch of conventionalism. for once, at least.
well, you see the guy in the picture? yeah, that spectacled boy running in haste? that's supposed to be me, j. gabriel de leon y limpin... what does j stand for, you ask? it's for me to know and for you to find out if you still don't know.
i'm a 16-year old boy who wears a pair of glasses, sports unkempt hair, and usually dons loose clothes. i might look a bit plump in the drawing, but in actuality i'm a tall, dark, skinny, frail guy who always forgets to drink his milk and take his breakfast. up to know i still wonder how come i stand at five-feet-eight-inches but weigh only 102 pounds...
way back then, i was a small, plump kid who showed a lot of promise. during parties, my mom and dad would usually strut around and boast of how intelligent, how healthy, how handsome i was. for eight or so years, that had been the case. i got my share of respect, like this little prince...
then came a heartbreak, and high school.
inexplicably, i suddenly became a complacent and idle guy who fell in love with my personal computer too much, even to the point of forgetting if i already had dinner. i was transformed into a student ridiculously full of potential but never getting to use the stuff. i developed a very healthy sleeping habit that made me garner the honorable distinction of being the student earliest for the nth class.
high school went on, heartbreaks pursued at will, and down to oblivion went that once promising young kid. so much for the pride of my parents.
today, i still look back to him. in fact, i'm trying to revive him, after four years of dormancy, or something more like stagnation. impossible, yes, but it's worth a try. too late, maybe, but i'll prove that it's not.
