however, that didn't work too.
don't ask me why. (",)
20.11.05
Q: Who has control over everything? A: Fate.
hoy demonyo ng tadhana! bakit naman ako pa, sa lahat ng masasamang kaluluwa na pwedeng pagdiskitahan, na mas nararapat sigurong parusahan?
ano bang kasalanan ko?
walang hiya ka! kung sino pa yung nasaktan, siya pang titirahin mo eh! kung sinong mahina, siyang susugatan? nasaan ang hustisya? hustisya!
gusto nang tumigil nung tao. nakita mo naman siguro anong pasakit ang dinaanan niya diba? kailan ka pa ba titigil?
walang kasalanan ngunit patuloy na nakapiit? isang kahangalan!
hindi pa ba sapat ang sugatan at durugin ang puso, at patayin ang kaluluwa? hindi pa ba sapat na makitang laylay na ang pulso't nawalan na ng hininga?
hindi pa ba sapat na malamang ni isa'y may pakialam sa kanya, na maawa o lumapit man la'y walang nangibig?
hindi pa ba sapat na malaman ng mundo na ang taong ito'y hindi na magagawang makaramdam, ngumiti, o umibig pang muli?
hindi na... dahil sa panlalapastangan at paninira sa kanya'y iyong iniwaksi!
sa katahimikan ko ba'y tingin mong ika'y nagwagi?
o kung maaari, sana'y hindi!
g_b got tired of senseless ranting by 21:59. |
it was just about now when i noticed that people write things about themselves in the profile section of their online diaries. then i looked at my former blog sites, and, it was like... whoa, am i really that weird?
so maybe it's time for a bit of change, a touch of conventionalism. for once, at least.
well, you see the guy in the picture? yeah, that spectacled boy running in haste? that's supposed to be me, j. gabriel de leon y limpin... what does j stand for, you ask? it's for me to know and for you to find out if you still don't know.
i'm a 16-year old boy who wears a pair of glasses, sports unkempt hair, and usually dons loose clothes. i might look a bit plump in the drawing, but in actuality i'm a tall, dark, skinny, frail guy who always forgets to drink his milk and take his breakfast. up to know i still wonder how come i stand at five-feet-eight-inches but weigh only 102 pounds...
way back then, i was a small, plump kid who showed a lot of promise. during parties, my mom and dad would usually strut around and boast of how intelligent, how healthy, how handsome i was. for eight or so years, that had been the case. i got my share of respect, like this little prince...
then came a heartbreak, and high school.
inexplicably, i suddenly became a complacent and idle guy who fell in love with my personal computer too much, even to the point of forgetting if i already had dinner. i was transformed into a student ridiculously full of potential but never getting to use the stuff. i developed a very healthy sleeping habit that made me garner the honorable distinction of being the student earliest for the nth class.
high school went on, heartbreaks pursued at will, and down to oblivion went that once promising young kid. so much for the pride of my parents.
today, i still look back to him. in fact, i'm trying to revive him, after four years of dormancy, or something more like stagnation. impossible, yes, but it's worth a try. too late, maybe, but i'll prove that it's not.
