however, that didn't work too.
don't ask me why. (",)
20.12.05
[part2....]
"waw! may signal na rin ako sa wakas!" ang mga una kong iniwika noong umaga ng ika-10 ng disyembre, sa loob ng room 7, dormitoryo C ng svd postulancy sa divine word seminary, tagaytay. nakita ko na ako ang huling nagising sa mga nasa kwartong iyon, eh ako ba naman, patulugin mo ng 3:40 ng madaling araw, anong aasahan mo diba?
pero, ayun. pagkatapos maghilamos at magbihis ng matino'y dumeretso kami sa main seminary, kung saan gising na rin ang ilan sa mga kababaihan ng pangkat avogadro-4. sa daan na pinaaliwalas ng sinag ng araw ay kapansin-pansin ang busilak ng mga dilaw at pulang bulaklak...
panandalian lamang kaming nanatili sa seminaryo, pagkat panahon na para sa almusal pagdating namin doon. ang tanging nagawa lamang namin ay kumuha at magpakuha? ng mga litrato...
maya-maya'y tapos na ang almusal namin. dumiretso kami sa dormitoryo, kinuha ang mga gamit, pinagmasdan ang kwartong iyon, tinignan ng mabuti sa huling pagkakataon, at lumabas na, kasama ang mga damit at gamit...
habang ako'y nagmumuni-muni't nagiisip, may kumalabit sa akin - "gab, samahan mo ako pumitas ng mga bulaklak..." sabi nung kaklase ko, si domeng, na siya namang ikinagulat ko [at ikinatuwa na rin]... "sige... may bibigyan ka ba?" tanong ko sa kanya... at di niya na ako sinagot. naglakad na kami palabas at naglibot-libot... ayun, may dalawang sunflower sa ibabaw ng creek. pumitas kami, tig-isa... pero ano nga bang gagawin ko dito? ba't ko ba to kinuha?
maya-maya, naghanap ulit ako ng kasama, kasi nasa postulancy pa lang kami, eh malamang, lanta na yung dilaw na bulaklak. buti na lang si gerald, na nung isang gabi pang nangungulit tungkol dun sa mga sunflower na yun, wala pang nakukuha. naglakad-lakad kami... hanggang sa medyo napalayo na nga, pero may nakita kaming lugar na ubod ng dami ng sunflower... natuwa ako, pumitas pa ako ng tatlo... medyo nakonsensya nga ako, pinapatay ko yung bulaklak... pero di ko pa rin maintindihan, ano bang balak ko dito?
ayan, napa-isip na naman. kaya ang lungkot ng buhay ko eh... pero ano nga ba naman ang magagawa ko? ganun talaga. nung nakarating kami sa seminaryo, nawawala na yung dalawa dun sa mga bulaklak... malas nga naman... pero ayos lang. bumisita kami dun sa room ng mga babae, pwede na kasi, since pauwi na rin... nung naglalakad-lakad ako nalaglag yung isang bulaklak, natanggalan ng tatlong petals. aba eh, sa sobrang gulo ng isip ko, pinitas ko na yung iba pang petals, kinalbo yung bulaklak... at itinapon ito sa harap ng maraming tao. hay.
ayoko na. di ko na kaya... saka na lang ulit yung katuloy. *sigh.* basta, nakauwi rin kami. yun lang.
g_b got tired of senseless ranting by 09:23. |
it was just about now when i noticed that people write things about themselves in the profile section of their online diaries. then i looked at my former blog sites, and, it was like... whoa, am i really that weird?
so maybe it's time for a bit of change, a touch of conventionalism. for once, at least.
well, you see the guy in the picture? yeah, that spectacled boy running in haste? that's supposed to be me, j. gabriel de leon y limpin... what does j stand for, you ask? it's for me to know and for you to find out if you still don't know.
i'm a 16-year old boy who wears a pair of glasses, sports unkempt hair, and usually dons loose clothes. i might look a bit plump in the drawing, but in actuality i'm a tall, dark, skinny, frail guy who always forgets to drink his milk and take his breakfast. up to know i still wonder how come i stand at five-feet-eight-inches but weigh only 102 pounds...
way back then, i was a small, plump kid who showed a lot of promise. during parties, my mom and dad would usually strut around and boast of how intelligent, how healthy, how handsome i was. for eight or so years, that had been the case. i got my share of respect, like this little prince...
then came a heartbreak, and high school.
inexplicably, i suddenly became a complacent and idle guy who fell in love with my personal computer too much, even to the point of forgetting if i already had dinner. i was transformed into a student ridiculously full of potential but never getting to use the stuff. i developed a very healthy sleeping habit that made me garner the honorable distinction of being the student earliest for the nth class.
high school went on, heartbreaks pursued at will, and down to oblivion went that once promising young kid. so much for the pride of my parents.
today, i still look back to him. in fact, i'm trying to revive him, after four years of dormancy, or something more like stagnation. impossible, yes, but it's worth a try. too late, maybe, but i'll prove that it's not.
